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"It's Been Real!" By Tom

April 25th, 2007 (07:08 pm)

Yeah, this journal is starting to get lame. Better finish it off before we make another fucking Michael Richards joke. As for how we will end ourselves, I say we perish in an epic battle against Sherriff Sausage (Please note: the following image was NOT drawn by Poul Carlsen and is NOT copyrighted. Do NOT trust this man to create your next logo mascot drawing):

Hey you know why Michael Richards doesn't like that sausage's hat? BECAUSE IT'S BLACK.

Shit.

"Finale" by Steve

April 24th, 2007 (01:31 pm)

It appears our blog has reached that magical time when everyone contributing gets bored of posting and thus, we shall soon retire it.

I assume this will happen within the next few days. The last time we ended a blog we were sent hurtling into the sun. I wonder what will happen this time!

It's been real everyone. Real real.

"Steve's SHOCKING Tirade" by All

April 20th, 2007 (04:24 pm)

Please, this is beyond words...just....watch the video...

And no, this has absolutely nothing to do with Alec Baldwin's recent tirade. Nothing at all. Don't be ridiculous.

NOTE by Steve: "In retrospect, I should have listened to the actual recording more than once at 3 in the morning before attempting to parody it, but you know what? shut up."

"Exclusive Excerpts from New J.R.R. Tolkien Novel, The Children of Húrin"

April 19th, 2007 (11:59 pm)

Anyone read the new Tolkien book yet? It looks pretty good. Here's some excerpts from it.

"Is it me or do I smell evil around here?"

"Wobbles" By Tom

April 19th, 2007 (11:16 pm)

I felt bad because I wanted to post a really interesting entry tonight, but I didn't feel like actually typing out the idea I had (sometime this weekend I will), so instead I think I'm just going to post 500 assorted numbers betwixt 1 and 332. Enjoy!

178	248	157	88	70
248	44	266	251	320
220	313	175	234	218
311	213	257	155	275
34	157	240	202	59
73	22	217	168	114
266	260	289	255	249
97	254	319	230	322
103	169	153	198	168
179	88	109	201	158
177	137	63	166	93
168	256	246	291	81
218	88	217	221	42
210	170	126	78	125
107	110	207	113	69
201	165	258	22	1
63	218	181	97	61
162	217	31	179	323
198	321	269	7	212
213	150	93	298	211
130	303	195	27	110
140	164	70	14	302
2	105	244	212	221
117	87	205	257	219
102	48	29	165	116
80	149	63	286	243
297	270	91	152	206
232	190	10	218	234
195	220	217	253	225
28	64	38	243	75
272	22	97	278	330
212	1	312	90	272
279	1	100	288	310
127	140	158	230	251
148	71	135	137	93
31	107	59	123	168
61	206	80	101	17
247	170	44	245	63
177	65	184	41	300
252	46	159	321	29
191	214	282	140	122
157	193	322	7	307
295	157	301	58	213
241	105	47	244	186
8	143	175	33	122
319	253	16	61	184
38	7	141	207	222
241	300	325	72	257
155	266	69	28	50
256	167	234	272	316
319	43	327	21	221
149	242	125	245	86
217	318	55	75	227
223	134	43	115	55
69	35	155	237	146
89	258	257	36	6
28	230	86	63	210
71	170	123	244	83
77	113	296	82	176
61	102	27	325	189
325	101	113	15	26
196	171	281	332	202
331	229	231	127	304
221	276	324	102	294
60	81	16	146	17
286	277	231	14	111
293	43	126	18	323
259	188	294	285	212
248	145	46	321	322
263	99	293	58	318
110	138	302	160	58
182	55	129	176	237
168	142	129	146	175
120	210	43	114	23
263	39	17	257	271
301	233	207	83	330
287	96	30	304	228
33	242	129	283	179
81	109	315	194	292
205	10	144	1	142
175	76	19	107	11
33	317	221	208	231
87	250	79	132	31
9	288	332	235	95
176	266	162	138	153
170	49	120	289	147
38	212	14	67	199
318	59	253	301	70
306	240	314	33	204
241	54	46	210	125
105	47	249	201	251
185	228	303	81	269
33	7	124	261	206
56	312	332	56	265
83	303	219	329	101
105	155	244	322	233
69	298	71	191	97
278	231	52	266	23
210	16	100	278	214
217	74	222	71	85
 
 




















:-(

"MULTI-MEDIA CELEBRITY HATEFEST" by Steve

April 18th, 2007 (02:55 am)

We've mocked some celebrities in the past few posts so, before we get into full swing with our Last Comic Standing celebration, let's hear what those famous-types had to say in response...

FOR REFERENCE, THESE ARE THE MOST RECENT TIMES WE'VE INSULTED THESE MILLIONAIRES (cept Ant, who is not very rich thank god):

Michael Richards was last mocked in the article, "Five Books That Never Should Have Been Published" by Tom on April 15th.

Eddie Vedder and Ant were both mentioned in the article, "Grunge Ain't Dead" guest post by Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder also on April 15th (that was a good day for hatred).

YOU'RE WELCOME!

"My Confession" By Tom

April 18th, 2007 (12:33 am)

STEVE AND RAY RAY WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKIKNG ABOUT I LOVE LAST COMIC STANDING

LOL YOMANK!!!

RE:"'Last Comic Standing Returns' by Steve" by Eric

April 17th, 2007 (12:41 pm)

Good call, Steve. I was worried what might happen had that post been left out in the open in the midst of prying eyes. No, actually I'm lying, but thanks anyway.

I never had the pleasure of watching Last Comic Standing, and I never will, but I'm excited. Lets hope this celebration continues from now until the first episode, when the scavenger that is LCS will be poised to suck up the rotten blood vessels of the comedy world's dead corpse like angelhair spaghetti. BRING IT ON!

Obligatory picture time...

YEAH!

"Last Comic Standing Returns" by Steve

April 17th, 2007 (01:03 am)

I had to government-conspiracy-style-cover-up your last post Eric to announce that, our readers be damned, Last Comic Standing is coming back! This abomination to the world of comedy is making its big comeback this summer I believe but we here at this blog no one ever reads ever intend to celebrate the new season NOW!

This celebration will involve either 1) a whole bunch of videos and posts about LCS or 2) nothing because we are lazy fuck-ups who never follow through with our ambitious ideas.

I'M HOPING FOR OPTION 1!!!11!*

* Though, it'll probably be option 2. Thanks a lot, DAD!

"Grunge Ain't Dead" guest post by Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder

April 15th, 2007 (09:12 pm)

Hey guys,

I asked the Artstro-nerds to let me do a quick post about the music scene that gave birth to my band Pearl Jam, our retarded cousins Nirvana (Nerd-vana), and, arguably, the Beatles.

A lot of people come up to me and go, "Hey Eddie, YOU ROCK!" which is true, but sometimes they also say, "Hey Eddie, is grunge dead?" and I say "Shut up faggot!" but what I should say is "No! Grunge ain't dead!" because it's totally not!

Let me explain, a lot of people don't realize this but the majority of the world's current best bands were directly inspired by grunge (mostly Pearl Jam). Take a quick listen to an Ashlee Simpson record, or take an audible gander at a Fall Out Boy album and you'll have to hold your nose from how badly it reeks of grunge! ROCK!

But I shouldn't take credit for everything. I'm going to, but I shouldn't. Grunge rules, Eddie Vedder rules grunge, 'nuff said.

So the next time some dweeb (aka, anyone without long greasy hair, torn jeans, and a flannel shirt wrapped around their waste) comes up to you and asks if grunge is dead, stare him down for a while then shout, "No faggot! Grunge ain't dead!" ROCK!

Oh lord, I just realize how many times I used the word "faggot" in this post. I'm really sorry. I'm not even homophobic, that's what's so insane about this. Great, now I have to go onto gay-stand-up-comic Ant's radio show "LispChat" and apologize to gay people everywhere.

Gay Stand Up Comic, Ant

Oh, one more thing Artstro-nerds (never gets old), you guys really need to lay off the Michael Richards jokes. Come on...that shit happened in November. It's not even funny anymore. FAGGOTS! SHIT!

ROCK!